US Air Force Pilots and Their Maintenance Crews

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force Pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

 

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

 

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

 

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."

Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."

Problem #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

 

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."

Solution: "IT DOES NOW."

 

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

 

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on fight main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."

 

Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on fight v4ing after brief search."

 

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

 

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."

 

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

 

Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

 

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."

 

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